In Nigeria, Marriage is perceived as a reward of some sort for a well behaved girl. So if a girl is grown up to a certain age like 25-30 and not married. Everyone assumes you messed up your chances as you must have been a bad girl at some point. You are too outspoken and sometimes people blame the parents for not putting enough pressure on their daughters.
Bad girls as seen by most people in the society are girls who are social, brave, outgoing, bold and outspoken. We have been made to believe that if you think for yourself and chose the kind of lifestyle you want to live or basically do stuff that translate to enjoying your youth or choose the kind of job that you like, men will not be interested in you.
A perfect example is Nigerian aphrodisiac master Hauwa Saidu Mohammad popularly known as, Jaaruma. The young muslim lady who is not new to controversies deliberately threads the path dreaded by others by being a major seller of the ‘Kayan Mata’ aphrodisiac, especially when you consider her tribe and religion.
‘Kayan Mata’ is an herbal aphrodisiac from northern Nigeria. It allegedly not only makes a woman’s vagina sweeter but helps in giving you the best kind of relationship with your partner. Thus, she is a major seller of ‘herbal’ love potions and she gives relationship consultation. Hauwa in the course of her business faced questions like why a woman who sold “love potions” to get a man was still single and even when she finally tied the know, there were rumours that it was a fake marriage because being single was affecting product sales.
How could she have found love? Which sane man would want to marry a lady who is ‘fetish’. It just had to be a publicity stunt. So she decided to start sharing her videos portraying the life of the rich, the average and the poor for entertainment only.
The brave northern lady who is very successful has gone on to become an advocate for women and their freewill as regards marriage. She doesn’t waste an opportunity to lend her voice in defense of any lady being dragged or judged for doing what suits her. Recently, she weighed in on the marriage of Nollywood actor, Regina Daniels to 59-year-old billionaire, Ned Nwoko after the actress became the talking drum around the net for being with a much older rich man.
The internet was also in frenzy when popular Nigerian dancer and business woman, Jane Mena known for her seductive dance moves got engaged recently. Her now famous twerking moves earned her a number of haters who believe her dance steps are too enticing to be moral. Jaaruma weighed in on the issue reminding people that the bad girls’ are outchea living their best lives and getting all the good men at your expense and you are crying foul.
The truth remains, Ladies who remain true to themselves not minding who will be offended by their actions will eventually find someone who will love them and accept them as they are. We humans need to be supportive of one another, no matter if we disagree or agree with peoples’ personal decisions and choices. Live and let others live!